The Entrance to Death

First off: the manual lied. The whistle doesn't help at all with finding Death Mountain.

I looked back through my old posts to find if there were any Old Man secrets I'd yet to solve (minus the ones I know were badly translated and therefore mean nothing), and only came up with the one from last time ("SPECTACLE ROCK IS AN ENTRANCE TO DEATH") and the one from my first playsession: "EASTMOST PENINSULA IS THE SECRET". What could it mean? I've had that secret over my head since I first started this game.

I googled 'peninsula' in case a description would help. It says a peninsula is a piece of land with water on three of four sides. If we assume Hyrule is surrounded by water, then there are two locations that fit this description, both in the eastmost parts of the map. Huh, I guess I DID solve that one, as one of them's already been pillaged of a heart.

But the other one just has a staircase leading down, but nothing on the screen below it going up. I always assumed a staircase somewhere else lead there like a secret or something, but I've been all around the map and haven't found anything like that. INVESTIGATION TIME!

I warp nearby and check out the screen below it. I was going to try bombing the wall, so I walked up to where I thought the path went and moved up to get as close to the wall as possible... and just walked over the wall. I emerge on the top screen, the secret music playing. Really? That was the secret this whole time? An invisible staircase? Wow. Inside the room or whatever, there's a nice moblin who offers me money. Let's see how much it is... HOLY BALLS 100 RUPEES! THANK YOU, MOBLIN! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Okay. Now it's time to find Death Mountain. According to the Old Man, "SPECTACLE ROCK IS AN ENTRANCE TO DEATH", so that's where I should go. 'Spectacle' means glasses, so somewhere there must be two symetrical rocks. Ooh, there they are! In the north! So I prepare. I warp home and buy my potions and heal at a nearby fountain. Then, whistle to dungeon 6 and walk off to Spectacle Rock. I get there and if it's not the most guarded overworld location I've seen. I kill the sword-dragons and the sand things to have some peace while I work. I bomb the center of the right rock and reveal the entrance. Here we go, guys! Death Mountain! Level 9! THE FINAL DUNGEON AWAITS!

The music is different than other dungeons, more dangerous. Ahead, there's a room that looks like an old man room but no old man. The "well done" music plays and two previously closed doors open. I know this one, readers. This was the room with the Old Man telling me a phrase that was very important to this blog. Important, for it was the inspiration for this blog's title. "ONES WHO DOES NOT HAVE TRIFORCE CAN'T GO IN". Well I have Triforce, sir. I have Triforce.

I go left and encounter a room full of wizards and bubbles. The bubbles stop me using my sword so I end up losing half of my health to the wizards before I manage to kill them all. Further through, there are more wizards and like-likes who kill me before I can use a potion.

I try again, this time using my potion in time and killing them all. There is no reward, no secret entrance or unlocking doors. What a total waste of time and a potion. I go through several more rooms, encountering more wizards and bubbles, dying again and using my last potion (already!?). In the empty fire room, I go a different direction and find some slimes that give me a key when I kill them. Aw, a key? That's adorable. I leave the pointless room and go back.

I've made a circle of rooms, none of which have doors leading anywhere else. There must be some secret rooms to find. I bomb a few walls and find one below a non-wizard room, with two snakes made of fire and a staircase. The snakes die by cold steel and I descend through the staircase. On the other end, there's a room with about four like-likes, who aren't much of a threat. Past that room, another full of wizards. NOPE. FUCK THAT SHIT. I'm just gonna slip right past these fuckers and deal with them another day.

In the next room: a fucking BUG MONSTER with lots of small bugs flying around him. I read about this guy: Patra. I have to kill all the little bugs before I can get to him. The wand doesn't seem to work on them, and they keep moving too fast for me to attack them. Like the room before this one, I say fuck it and skip it. Above Patra's room, there's an old man telling me to "GO TO THE NEXT ROOM". Okay, old man. I will. There're no doors, so there's obviously a bombable wall. Let's try the left one... there we go! I walk in and pretty much die in two seconds. More fucking wizards.

I go a different way and find a room with some BBBs, which are actually a really welcome sight. They're not as annoying as the wizards, so I don't mind them so much anymore. It's weird to think they once caused me enough frustration to make me swear my face off. Ah, memories...

Past them, there's a room full of bats. According to my map, this room is right above one of the first rooms in the dungeon, before the staircase from before. I try bombing the lower wall to connect the two sections, but to no avail. The left works, though. It's a room full of tiny slimes. I'm loving these easy rooms, I can tell you that! Past the slime room, there's a room with a platform on the bottom (where I am) seperate from the rest of the room. I can't get to any of the rest of the floor, I'd have to go around somehow. Pity.

I head back to Patra's room and go down. There're some more tiny slimes, who give me 5 rupees for killing them all. Further, more bats and some regular slimes. Again, I try bombing the lower wall to connect the two parts of the dungeon, but nothing happens. I head backwards and to the left, where there are three sections of the room, divided by blocks. In one, the one I'm in, there are two like-likes. In the next, two slimes, and in the third two useless bubbles. I kill the like-likes with the sword and use the wand to get the slimes in the next section. The room rewards me with bombs, but places them in the second section, where I can't get to them (and the boomerange doesn't pick them up). There must be a secret door below, and I have to come in from there to get the bombs.

I think I'll leave it here for today, I'm getting quite hungry and this whole blogging thing is taking up too much time. Nobody even reads this shit anyway, I don't know why I'm still writing it. I guess it's something to keep me going, to make sure I don't give up on something. I'll try not to give up.

And so, I leave my game with only 1.5 hearts left, no potions or bombs. Brilliant.

Progress:

Hearts:   16

Rupies:   84

Bombs:    0

Keys:     A

Items:    MAGICAL SWORD, MAGIC SHIELD, MAGIC BOOMERANG, BOW+ARROW, BLUE CANDLE, RAFT, STEPLADDER, RED BRACELET, BLUE RING, WHISTLE, WAND

Dungeons: EAGLE(1), MOON(2), MANJI(3), SNAKE(4), LIZARD(5), DRAGON(6), DEMON(7)

Deaths:   78

F***ing Finally

Oh hi there. Bet you're surprised to see something, aren't you?
Yes, it has been nearly a year since I last updated this blog. I'd like to make some excuse, that I decided to pour myself into my studies, or family problems got in the way... but honestly it was a combination of not really feeling like playing and up and forgetting about it entirely.
Yesterday, I remembered that the original Zelda was still in my pile of shame, so here we are.

After checking the map and warp points again (it's been a while), I come to the doors of Dragon Dungeon. Through the rooms I go (where unfortunately NOTHING comes back to me, so I'm essentially flying blind here), killing entire rooms of Wizards, Slimes and Bats respectively. I completely forgot about the fireball-throwing statues in the third one, so that was an interesting surprise. I nearly died right there, but managed to get all the bats and progress.

OHWOW. The next room has quite a number of enemies. Taking them all out leaves me with only one heart left, so I'll have to be really careful from now on. Next room... is filled to bursting with Wizards. While trying to kill one, I completely missed another one teleporting above me until it had already killed me with it's magic beam (or whatever they're called). Let's try that again, shall we?

Next attempt... the first wizard room nearly killed me, but one gave me a magic clock so the rest were easy pickings. I somehow get past the bat/statue room without taking damage, and the multi-enemy room is somehow empty. I guess their destruction carries on with my next life, unlike every other room. I enter the next Wizard room... and die 1 second later. Fuck.

The above pattern repeats another 2 times, then I manage to get past the Wizard room and end up dying by walking into a slime two rooms later. The same happens AGAIN, this time getting past even the last room I died in. BUT THEN ANOTHER WIZARD ROOM. Die, they say. I accidentally oblige.

But the NEXT time, I get through ALL THE ROOMS! I find a room that seems to be a dead end with more wizards inside... and die there. I'm beginning to see why this blog is so scarecly cared for, it's basically me tell you the many ways of dying in this game. Screw all this death, I'm getting some Life Potions. I save and start again, going to instead of the warp to the Old Woman's cave to get some potions. It sets me back a bit, but it's worth it. Also, before leaving for the dungeon again, I warp as close to a fairy fountain as I can and heal up before warping back and entering Dragon Dungeon once more.

I get just as far as last time before dying again. Starting again with 3 hearts? Fuck that. I use up one of my 2 potions right there and then. Further into the rooms, I decide to to right instead of downwards to the dead end from before, as according to my map I haven't gone in before. Inside I find a key (hooray!) and more enemies. Beyond that room is an old man, giving me his sagely advice: "THERE ARE SECRETS WHERE FAIRIES DON'T LIVE". So... everywhere? I'm sure there's more to it than that. I'll figure it out later.

I explore some more. More wizards, more... well, just more wizards. And some more wizards. I hate these wizards. Suddenly, I see yet another room I have yet to enter! Inside, another dead end and more FUCKING WIZARDS. The battle forces me to use my last potion to survive. Finally, the room is cleared. But nothing happens. So this really was a dead end. I leave the room and-HAH GOTCHA. Of course it isn't. One moved block reveals a glorious staircase. Inside... THE ITEM! It appears to be a staff of some kind. That's actually really friggin' appropriate, given the amount of magic beams I've had to deal with thus far. A quick test on some BBBs in a nearby room shows that the wand (I think that's it's official name) sends out the same beam of magic the Wizards do, which does less damage than my sword given the BBBs explosion into bats. Useful, I guess.

AND NOW, with the Item in hand, there is no reason for me to remain in this place. I head for the boss room, crossing the floor where the boss used to tread (before I murdered it, of course), and enter that awesome room with the little triangle that just screams "WELL FUCKING DONE!"

Dungeon Six, Dragon Dungeon, is defeated! Returning to the surface, I celebrate by killing a nearby dragon sword thingy and saving, done for today. I now have 2 extra keys... what will they be used for? The mystery remains to be solved. In all, I find this a passable return to the Quest. I'll try to play again tomorrow, as I've now got another small TV to use instead of using the large TV which I'm sure my brother will be trying to use to play Skyrim or MW3 or some other thing. With that, Adieu!

Progress:

Hearts:   14

Rupies:   44

Bombs:    11

Keys:     2

Items:    MAGICAL SWORD, MAGIC SHIELD, MAGIC BOOMERANG, BOW+ARROW, BLUE CANDLE, BOMBS, RAFT, STEPLADDER, RED POTION, RED BRACELET, BLUE RING, WHISTLE, WAND

Dungeons: EAGLE(1), MOON(2), MANJI(3), SNAKE(4), LIZARD(5), DRAGON(6)

Deaths:   67

Aim At the Eyes of Gohma

Hi, it's been a while since my last play (about 5 days by my count). The reason I've been busy is that my grandfather, Erwin Wcislo, unfortunately passed away recently.

He'd been fighting old age and lung cancer for a while, and it was a miracle he lived through Christmas. But a few days ago, in his sleep, he left us. I wish I had been closer to him, because I honestly don't feel very bad about it. I mean, of course I feel bad, but not as much as any other person would be at losing a family member. Then again, we've all come to terms with it over the months. He's been "circling the drain" for so long, in a way it's good that he's moved on. I don't know if anyone else in my family believes in an afterlife, but I do, and I hope he's in a better place.

Also, the house is being cleaned and half emptied on an EPIC scale as it's now on the market. Me and my brother have been WORKED TO THE FLESHY PART JUST ABOVE THE BONE by our mother, and had to endure her constant complaining about our dad (who, my brother has FINALLY begun to realize, deserves all of it). Meanwhile, the device I use to connect my Wii to my computer has been packed away, so I can't take any screenshots. BUT, I'm sure there are some maps on the internet, so if you're desperate for some graphical representation of my position you can cross-reference my descriptions of my movements with some maps or something and get it.

BUT ANYWAY, I won't go on much more (unless I feel like it, but I probably won't). LEVEL 6 AWAITS! Remember the dungeon with 2 tiles worth of door? That's Dungeon 6. Luckily near Warp 1, so lets MOVE OUT!

Stopping off at the Fairy Fountain for healsies, then through the mountains about 2 screens to the devilishly designed Dungeon Entrance. Inside, a locked room and an unlocked room (I have an extra 2 keys, but I'll save them for now). In the unlocked room, there are some WIZARDS AAAR-never mind. Wizards who DIE easily. The room gives me a key, lovely! Now, to light up the room and see where things are... Ah, a locked room to the north! UNLOCK!

An Old Man! "AIM AT THE EYES OF GOHMA." That's got to be the boss of the Sixth (why did I ever bother with the word 'dungeon'?), and now I know how to kill it. Apparently, if you aim at the eyes, it will die. KEWL! I'm sure you need to shoot at it, but NONETHELESS! I also have to go back to the locked room in the first room, cos this is a dead end.

In that room, there are some easily-killed Wizards (who give me bombs and a fairy), and in the next room are some Slimes who give me money and the Compass. The next room... has fire-breathing statues and bats, so I don't like that room. BACK OUT, equip boomerang, BACK IN, and blitz the shit out of everything. Once everything dies (and takes about 2 hearts off me), a Key is bestowed upon me. IN THE NEXT ROOM, hinting that this dungeon is shaping up to be pretty linear, there are a bunch of Spike Traps around (easily avoided).

Next room, an ACTUAL THREAT! 3 Wizards, 2 BLUE Wizards and a Skull Bubble. It takes a bit more health before I kill everything, and the next room needs to be opened by pushing a block.

This is where everything electrical I was working with at the time suddenly decided to have breakdowns. My laptop very nearly ran out of batteries before I realized I hadn't plugged it in properly, and my charger's a retarded child and causes the mousepad on the laptop to spaz out when I touch it. My USB mouse also decided to not work anymore, no matter WHICH port I plugged it into, so I had to ignore the game until I fixed everything. I can now only use the mouse by unplugging my laptop, using the mouse, and plugging it back in to keep it charged. Oh, but wait, as soon as I type all that, my USB mouse decides to work again! Oh technology, you little bitch, you.

BUT I DIGRESS. Back in the game, the next room holds 3 more of each Wizard, who kill me despite my awesomeness. BACK TO THE START AGAIN. DIE IN THE SAME ROOM. Okay, just read the last few paragraphs another 3 times or so, because that's about when I got to this point.

FUCK THE THREE HEART MECHANIC! WHY START WITH THREE? IT'S ABSURD! I swear I'm finding a Potion shop around here. TO THE WARP ZONE! That's right, I'M LEAVING! FOR FAIRIES! AND RED WATER! YEAH! SUCK IT!

... sorry. So after a trip through the staircase that miraculously leads to the nearest Fairy Fountain, and another to an underground Potion shop, and back again. So FULL HEALTH, 2 FULL HEALTH POTIONS. THIS MEANS 3x12 HEARTS EQUALS 36 HEARTS! YEAH! Not quite, as I have to use the potions BEFORE I lose all the health... SHUT UP SEAN, YOU'RE RAMBLING!

Okay, so read that paragraph about running through the linear corridor thing again, only THIS time, imagine me as a heroic, unstoppable, amazingly sexy hero killing everything without breaking a swear. It was more like a confident, moderately skillful display but it's better for you to think that I'm awesome. BECAUSE I AM. SOMETIMES. So yeah, I beat the room I usually die in (using up a potion) and move on.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GLEEOCK DOING HERE!?!??!? I KILLED YOU LIKE 2 DUNGEONS AGO! AND YOU GREW AN EXTRA HEAD! Luckily, I've grown stronger, too. I have a nifty new sword and extended health. So you, my friend, die quickly. HA! Next room (to the East now, we're off the linear path).

This room has some Like-Likes (I couldn't think of what to call them, so I looked up their real names) and Slimes, all of which die easily and the room gives me the Map! Dungeon Sixth, or Dungeon the Sixth, you are now known as... okay seriously, what the hell is this meant to be? It looks like a demonic arm flexing. One moment, Google needs to be consulted... oh wow. *snigger* It's meant to be a dragon... hehehe... OKAY THEN, Dungeon the Sixth, you are now known as Dragon Dungeon (awesome, really).

So, there's this locked door south of my location... UNLOCK. Some Wizards, who die but leave me with 1/2 a heart (*uses potion* *gets health* *celebrates*), and a new Key. Next room, AAARGH THE FUCKING BBB'S! KILL THEM WITH FIRE! Okay, that only slightly worked. KILL THEM WITH SWORDS! Okay, cool. NEXT ROOM.

It's filled with Wizards and Like-Likes! Kill them all! Done. This is a bit TOO easy, now... meh. Block! Push it, open stairs, travel. It takes me to another part of the Dungeon (through a little double-stairs room), to a room with Slimes and Like-Likes. Also, I can go down and meet some more BBBs! Lovely! And KILL, KILL, KILL... much better. In the next room, the north door is locked, and it's RIGHT next to the Triforce Room! It could be the boss room, or it might not be. I'll go South for now, and check later.

Okay, the south room is a dead end. It DOES have some wizards, though. Kill. And now the room gives me bombs... that's suspicious. Usually when a room does that, it means bombs are required... the Boss? No, you need to "aim" somehow, bombs don't need to be aimed. Secret room? Bomb the walls? I'll try it...  well, that didn't work. Let's try that locked door, shall we?

OH GOD IT'S THE BOSS! IT'S A GIANT SPIDER! I'M ARACHNOPHOBIC! SHOOT IT! SHOOOOOT IIIIIIIIIIIT!!! With every Arrow I impale into it's face, it closes it's eye just that little bit more until... DIE! HAHA! DIE, SPIDER! And give me your heart! Hooray! I won't get the Triforce shard just yet though, I still need to find that secret item.

Back in the main area of the dungeon, there's still a locked door I didn't open. Inside, more wizards, but other than that a dead end. But there IS a block, so that could be a secret switch or somethi-don't worry, I'm dead now. DAMN BLUE WIZARDS. Back to the start.

On one hand, I've all but defeated Dragon Dungeon. On the other, I still need to collect that secret item and go back for the Triforce. And after this, I still don't know where Dungeon Seven is. I've got some work to do next time, infiltrating the deepest reaches of the Dragon AND the farthest reaches of Hyrule. There are only 2 other dungeons in the game that I haven't found yet: 7 and 9. 9... the final dungeon. The cave in which Gannon is hiding, holding Zelda captive. I WILL SAVE YOU, ZELDA. I'm almost there, I AM...

Progress:

Hearts:   14

Rupies:   18

Bombs:    9

Keys:     1

Items:    MAGICAL SWORD, MAGIC SHIELD, MAGIC BOOMERANG, BOW+ARROW, BLUE CANDLE, BOMBS, RAFT, STEPLADDER, RED POTION, RED BRACELET, BLUE RING, WHISTLE

Dungeons: EAGLE(1), MOON(2), MANJI(3), SNAKE(4), LIZARD(5)

Deaths:   59