Hungry Hungry Moblins

Oh hi there, readers!

Realized not long ago that I haven't given a report on how I've been this past year. Well, my parents moved apart, I barely visit my dad, and I've finished my first year of university studying Games Technology. That's pretty much my life this year. Onto the game report, which is a lot more detailed today for some reason. Today, I'm in the loungeroom with the Wii connected to a tiny TV on the table, because I feel old-school today and my regular TV is too high-tech to be oldschool. Also, the fan is running, because it's a fucking hot day today.

After checking my map, I realize I have no idea where Dungeon 7 is. That's a pity. I also check my items (hell, it's been a year) and I can't for the life of my remember what the Whistle did. I re-check my previous posts here and find that it shrunk Digdogger in one of the dungeons. Is that really it? That's the one purpose of the item? It can't be. I take it out and play it.

A TORNADO APPEARS! OH GOD WHAT DO I DO!? I stand there and let it sweep me up... and deposit me just outside of a dungeon? I go inside and see that it's Dungeon 2. Is that what it does? Take me to each dungeon? I play it a few more times and it takes me to Dungeon 1, the Dungeon 6, then 5... okay, so the Whistle teleports me to each of the dungeons in a cycle. That's pretty useful, actually! It's like I've just found 6 more warp points! Hooray!

It doesn't help with the Dungeon 7 dilemma, though. It seems to only take me to dungeon's I've already cleared, so I still have to find it on my own. I'll start by investigating landmarks I haven't explored before. Checking my map, I see there's a door in the wall a few screens away from Dungeon 6, and two adjacent ponds that look like fairy fountains not far from 3. I'll check out the door first.

I try to warp to Dugeon 6, but for some reason it takes me to different dungeons instead of cycling through them. This calls for some experimenting! I found that on the times where I move around before Whistling again, the cycle sometimes breaks, but when I'm still it stays. I also noticed that if the cycle breaks and I stand still after that, the cycle continues in the opposite direction. A few tests later and I've got it! If you're facing upwards, the Whistle cycles forward 1 (Dungeon 3 > Dungeon 4 > Dungeon 5), and if you face down it goes backwards (Dungeon 6 > Dungeon 5 > Dungeon 4)! That helps with distances between numbers, actually.

I end up getting to 6 and traverse the screens to the door. It turns out to be another general store, selling a shield, bombs and an arrow. Not really helpful. I Whistle to Dungeon 3 and head for the two ponds. Moblins are all over the place and nearly kill me before I get there, but it turns out that the pond to the right is actually a fairy fountain! While I heal, I realize the strangeness of the ponds. Why have two fairy ponds beside one another? It's just not necessary. I investigate the pond and find that it's just a regular pond. I even damage myself to see if fairies only appear when you're not at full health, but nothing.

BUT THEN, BRAINWAVE! The Old Man's clue from yesterday! "THERE ARE SECRETS WHERE FAIRIES DON'T LIVE"! According to my map, this is the only pond in the whole of Hyrule that isn't a fairy fountain! This is where the Fairies don't live! There must be a secret here!

... but what is it? Killing the single moblin doesn't do anything, neither does burning any of the four nearby bushes. Shooting the water with the wand does nothing. As with the arrow. And the wand. And the bomb. And the boomerang. Whistling just makes the water disapp-WAITWHAT? Yes! That's it! Playing the magic whistle makes the water disappear! And on the pond's floor, a staircase! BRILLIANT! And inside... *GASP!* IT'S DUNGEON 7!!

Inside, I can go either up or right. I go right, and find two fireball snakes, which die easily and give me some bombs as a prize. Up, there is a darkened room full of bats. Using the candle, I light up the room, then kill all the bats with my boomerang and sword beams. To the left, the room is full of blue Moblins and some fireball-shooting statues. The moblins die and give me some more bombs. If I go down, I end up back at the entrance.

I backtrack to the Bat room and go right, to a room full of more moblins. They give me more bombs, too. I'm sensing a pattern, here. Up, there's an old man with his wise words for me: "THERE'S A SECRET IN THE TIP OF THE NOSE." ... hehehe, I bet there is. Okay, back to the previous room. I go right and suddenly Digdogger is waiting for me! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, DIGDOGGER? I'LL KILL YOU! Whistle! Shrink the bitch! Divide into three! I will END YOU AND YOUR PIECES! I kept getting shot by the statues, but I managed to get him. He gives me some more bombs as a reward. Okay, Dungeon 7, I get it. I need bombs for something.

To the right, there's a room full of skeletons. One gives me a shiny new key, but the room is a dead end. I go back through the other rooms, but I can't find any other way to progress. Although, as every room and it's statue has been giving me bombs, I'm assuming there are some secret doors that can be bombed into existence. I start at the beginning and work my way through, bombing the sides of rooms. I find what I'm looking for in the first bat room, a secret door leading upwards to another skeleton-filled dark room. One gives the Compass, so I know where the Triforce (and the Boss) are hanging around.

TO the left, there are moblins of every colour shooting around. They don't give any rewards, unfortunately. I could go either up or left, so I'll start with left. HOLY BALLS THREE DODONGOS! I can see why I'll need a lot of bombs! They leave me with only 2 bombs left, and give me a measly 5 rupies as a reward. Thanks, guys. Though I suppose you're not here to make my quest any easier. Up is a locked door, but I'll check down first. Bats and traps, bats die and give me bombs (big surprise there). Down again, a room full of snakes, fire statues and a key. While the key is appreciated, the snakes and statues are not, the former not even giving anything for killing them all.

I head back to the locked room I skipped earlier and enter... it's another Old Man, this time asking me if I want more bombs and giving me the choice to pay him 100 rupies. No thanks, old man, I'm being given enough bombs around here for free, I'm not about to pay you 100 rupies (that I don't have anyway) for them. Back to the room I skipped before, there are bats, moblins and bubbles. I kill the first two and get hit by the third (over and over). In the next room upwars, there's ANOTHER Digdogger! How many of these things ARE there!? Whistle away, kill the three midgets, avoid the fireballs. Nothing is given when they die, which isn't very fair.

To the left, there's another gathering of multi-ethnic moblins and a locked door upwards. Inside, there's ANOTHER Old Man... wait, no! It's a moblin! "GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE" he says. That's strange. There's a door behind him, but I can't get past him. If I damage him, the fire shoots at me, so that can't be the answer. I backtrack, checking all the other rooms, but there doesn't seem to be a way through except through the moblin, who won't move until I give him what he wants.

Which is what, exactly? I have no idea. After quite a while of thinking, readers, I am sorry to say that I cheated. I googled the phrase "GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE" and found the answer that way. HOWEVER, I did not look at a FAQ or walkthrough or anything, I found a message in a forum post that explained the moblin's desire. Turns out the guy's just hungry, and wants some Meat. I'm hoping this is an okay move, but let's face it. If I didn't, we'd be stuck here for another year or two while I stop updating until I figure out that "GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE" means "BRING ME A PARTICULAR ITEM." So, yeah. I've saved you some waiting time. You're welcome.

My map shows that I've already found the Meat, it was being sold for 60 Rupees in the same store where I bought the Blue Ring, which is also within walking distance of Dungeon 7! That's really convenient! So I leave the dungeon, walk to the shop (stopping at the Fairy Fountain to heal) and buy the Meat. Yay, I have a full inventory for the first time! I toddle on back to 7 and head back to the hungry moblin (unfortunately having to kill everything all over again). I drop the meat and the secret music plays as he fades away, along with the food.

In the next room, I find the map amid some more bubbles, bats and blue moblins! The shape of Dungeon 7 is revealed! ... I have no idea what to make of this. It looks like another snake, kinda? Hold on, Google time... Oh, wow. Hehe. It's meant to be a demon. How the hell are we getting THAT from THIS? Whatever. Dungeon Seven is now christened as... Demon Dungeon! That actually sounds pretty cool.

I light up the room and see just how weird the floor is. I skip across to kill all the moblins when I notice something strange. There's some floor at the top of the room, but there's no door. There's also no room on the map there. I, however, don't believe such piffle. I bomb the wall and sure enough, there's a secret room with 10 rupees inside! That's kinda cool, it being not on the map and all!

Back the the previous room and to the right, there's a room of moblins that unlock the upwards room when killed. There, there's another Moblin Diversity Celebration, who give 5 rupees unlock the door to the right. Inside, more moblins and statues, but also a key. There is no other way through, however, so I backtrack.

I noticed the 'eye' on the map. There've been rooms in 'eye' screens before, and the room just a few paragraphs ago wasn't on the map... I bomb the wall leading into the 'eye' and PRESTO there's my way through! The Eye room has some moblins and a staircase, which opens with the push of a block. I can hear the Boss growling from here, so the Boss room must be just below the Eye. Down the stairs, the secret Item for this dungeon lies: the Red Candle. I test it out, and it seems to be exactly like my Blue Candle, but it can be used multiple times per room. Nice.

I head back to the Eye room and try bombing the wall to the right. It opens, leading to more moblins and two locked doors. Finally, the mystery of my two Spare Keys is solved! In the upwards room, there's just two fire snakes who give nothing, and no bombable walls. To the right, another Digdogger. The fear has worn off, by now, though. It's easy to deal with them now. Whistle, kill. Done. Upwards, three more Dodongos. They too, are killed with minimal worrying. Past that room is just a room with some blue hands and bubbles, but nothing else.

I backtrack to find how to enter the Boss Room, bombing through some walls to get to the room just below it... but nothing gets me through to it, nor to the two rooms to the left of it. It seems there must be a staircase somewhere that takes me there, it's the only other explanation for the closed-off rooms. I check each other room for moveable blocks or other doors, eventually coming back to the room with the hands and bubbles. I kill the hands and push several blocks, eventually finding one that opens a staircase in the corner. Why did I skip this room earlier?

Down through the bat-filled alley, I come out two rooms left from the Boss, killing the moblins I find in this room and the snakes in the room to the right. This is it, guys. The Boss of Demon Dungeon. I enter from below, and emerge into the room to find... the Dragon from Dungeon 1? What are YOU doing here? It doesn't answer, just starts shooting fireballs. This may be a challenge, the bosses must get harder in future dungeons. I run forward, getting hit by one of the fireballs and placing my last bomb at the Dragon's feet. It explodes, damaging him. I run in again, stabbing him with my sword... and he dies, just like that. Huh. I guess they aren't stronger. That's embarassing for them.

I collect my new heart and enter the sacred Seventh Triforce Room. I raise it above my head and punch the air as the music plays and the dungeon vanishes around me. Dungeon Seven, Demon Dungeon: Complete! And it seems to be the first dungeon I've completed without dying once! That's a OWDNHTCGI first, I think!

Well, we're going strongly, guys. Back for two days and I'm already 1 piece away from completing the Triforce. I'll see if I can get back to this again tomorrow or the day after, maybe I can finish this thing sooner than I think. The end is on the horizon, readers!

Progress:

Hearts:   15

Rupies:   84

Bombs:    0

Keys:     1

Items:    MAGICAL SWORD, MAGIC SHIELD, MAGIC BOOMERANG, BOW+ARROW, BLUE CANDLE, BOMBS, RAFT, STEPLADDER, RED POTION, RED BRACELET, BLUE RING, WHISTLE, WAND

Dungeons: EAGLE(1), MOON(2), MANJI(3), SNAKE(4), LIZARD(5), DRAGON(6), DEMON(7)

Deaths:   67

P.S: I got rid of the Twitter thing, as it's pointless.

F***ing Finally

Oh hi there. Bet you're surprised to see something, aren't you?
Yes, it has been nearly a year since I last updated this blog. I'd like to make some excuse, that I decided to pour myself into my studies, or family problems got in the way... but honestly it was a combination of not really feeling like playing and up and forgetting about it entirely.
Yesterday, I remembered that the original Zelda was still in my pile of shame, so here we are.

After checking the map and warp points again (it's been a while), I come to the doors of Dragon Dungeon. Through the rooms I go (where unfortunately NOTHING comes back to me, so I'm essentially flying blind here), killing entire rooms of Wizards, Slimes and Bats respectively. I completely forgot about the fireball-throwing statues in the third one, so that was an interesting surprise. I nearly died right there, but managed to get all the bats and progress.

OHWOW. The next room has quite a number of enemies. Taking them all out leaves me with only one heart left, so I'll have to be really careful from now on. Next room... is filled to bursting with Wizards. While trying to kill one, I completely missed another one teleporting above me until it had already killed me with it's magic beam (or whatever they're called). Let's try that again, shall we?

Next attempt... the first wizard room nearly killed me, but one gave me a magic clock so the rest were easy pickings. I somehow get past the bat/statue room without taking damage, and the multi-enemy room is somehow empty. I guess their destruction carries on with my next life, unlike every other room. I enter the next Wizard room... and die 1 second later. Fuck.

The above pattern repeats another 2 times, then I manage to get past the Wizard room and end up dying by walking into a slime two rooms later. The same happens AGAIN, this time getting past even the last room I died in. BUT THEN ANOTHER WIZARD ROOM. Die, they say. I accidentally oblige.

But the NEXT time, I get through ALL THE ROOMS! I find a room that seems to be a dead end with more wizards inside... and die there. I'm beginning to see why this blog is so scarecly cared for, it's basically me tell you the many ways of dying in this game. Screw all this death, I'm getting some Life Potions. I save and start again, going to instead of the warp to the Old Woman's cave to get some potions. It sets me back a bit, but it's worth it. Also, before leaving for the dungeon again, I warp as close to a fairy fountain as I can and heal up before warping back and entering Dragon Dungeon once more.

I get just as far as last time before dying again. Starting again with 3 hearts? Fuck that. I use up one of my 2 potions right there and then. Further into the rooms, I decide to to right instead of downwards to the dead end from before, as according to my map I haven't gone in before. Inside I find a key (hooray!) and more enemies. Beyond that room is an old man, giving me his sagely advice: "THERE ARE SECRETS WHERE FAIRIES DON'T LIVE". So... everywhere? I'm sure there's more to it than that. I'll figure it out later.

I explore some more. More wizards, more... well, just more wizards. And some more wizards. I hate these wizards. Suddenly, I see yet another room I have yet to enter! Inside, another dead end and more FUCKING WIZARDS. The battle forces me to use my last potion to survive. Finally, the room is cleared. But nothing happens. So this really was a dead end. I leave the room and-HAH GOTCHA. Of course it isn't. One moved block reveals a glorious staircase. Inside... THE ITEM! It appears to be a staff of some kind. That's actually really friggin' appropriate, given the amount of magic beams I've had to deal with thus far. A quick test on some BBBs in a nearby room shows that the wand (I think that's it's official name) sends out the same beam of magic the Wizards do, which does less damage than my sword given the BBBs explosion into bats. Useful, I guess.

AND NOW, with the Item in hand, there is no reason for me to remain in this place. I head for the boss room, crossing the floor where the boss used to tread (before I murdered it, of course), and enter that awesome room with the little triangle that just screams "WELL FUCKING DONE!"

Dungeon Six, Dragon Dungeon, is defeated! Returning to the surface, I celebrate by killing a nearby dragon sword thingy and saving, done for today. I now have 2 extra keys... what will they be used for? The mystery remains to be solved. In all, I find this a passable return to the Quest. I'll try to play again tomorrow, as I've now got another small TV to use instead of using the large TV which I'm sure my brother will be trying to use to play Skyrim or MW3 or some other thing. With that, Adieu!

Progress:

Hearts:   14

Rupies:   44

Bombs:    11

Keys:     2

Items:    MAGICAL SWORD, MAGIC SHIELD, MAGIC BOOMERANG, BOW+ARROW, BLUE CANDLE, BOMBS, RAFT, STEPLADDER, RED POTION, RED BRACELET, BLUE RING, WHISTLE, WAND

Dungeons: EAGLE(1), MOON(2), MANJI(3), SNAKE(4), LIZARD(5), DRAGON(6)

Deaths:   67

Aim At the Eyes of Gohma

Hi, it's been a while since my last play (about 5 days by my count). The reason I've been busy is that my grandfather, Erwin Wcislo, unfortunately passed away recently.

He'd been fighting old age and lung cancer for a while, and it was a miracle he lived through Christmas. But a few days ago, in his sleep, he left us. I wish I had been closer to him, because I honestly don't feel very bad about it. I mean, of course I feel bad, but not as much as any other person would be at losing a family member. Then again, we've all come to terms with it over the months. He's been "circling the drain" for so long, in a way it's good that he's moved on. I don't know if anyone else in my family believes in an afterlife, but I do, and I hope he's in a better place.

Also, the house is being cleaned and half emptied on an EPIC scale as it's now on the market. Me and my brother have been WORKED TO THE FLESHY PART JUST ABOVE THE BONE by our mother, and had to endure her constant complaining about our dad (who, my brother has FINALLY begun to realize, deserves all of it). Meanwhile, the device I use to connect my Wii to my computer has been packed away, so I can't take any screenshots. BUT, I'm sure there are some maps on the internet, so if you're desperate for some graphical representation of my position you can cross-reference my descriptions of my movements with some maps or something and get it.

BUT ANYWAY, I won't go on much more (unless I feel like it, but I probably won't). LEVEL 6 AWAITS! Remember the dungeon with 2 tiles worth of door? That's Dungeon 6. Luckily near Warp 1, so lets MOVE OUT!

Stopping off at the Fairy Fountain for healsies, then through the mountains about 2 screens to the devilishly designed Dungeon Entrance. Inside, a locked room and an unlocked room (I have an extra 2 keys, but I'll save them for now). In the unlocked room, there are some WIZARDS AAAR-never mind. Wizards who DIE easily. The room gives me a key, lovely! Now, to light up the room and see where things are... Ah, a locked room to the north! UNLOCK!

An Old Man! "AIM AT THE EYES OF GOHMA." That's got to be the boss of the Sixth (why did I ever bother with the word 'dungeon'?), and now I know how to kill it. Apparently, if you aim at the eyes, it will die. KEWL! I'm sure you need to shoot at it, but NONETHELESS! I also have to go back to the locked room in the first room, cos this is a dead end.

In that room, there are some easily-killed Wizards (who give me bombs and a fairy), and in the next room are some Slimes who give me money and the Compass. The next room... has fire-breathing statues and bats, so I don't like that room. BACK OUT, equip boomerang, BACK IN, and blitz the shit out of everything. Once everything dies (and takes about 2 hearts off me), a Key is bestowed upon me. IN THE NEXT ROOM, hinting that this dungeon is shaping up to be pretty linear, there are a bunch of Spike Traps around (easily avoided).

Next room, an ACTUAL THREAT! 3 Wizards, 2 BLUE Wizards and a Skull Bubble. It takes a bit more health before I kill everything, and the next room needs to be opened by pushing a block.

This is where everything electrical I was working with at the time suddenly decided to have breakdowns. My laptop very nearly ran out of batteries before I realized I hadn't plugged it in properly, and my charger's a retarded child and causes the mousepad on the laptop to spaz out when I touch it. My USB mouse also decided to not work anymore, no matter WHICH port I plugged it into, so I had to ignore the game until I fixed everything. I can now only use the mouse by unplugging my laptop, using the mouse, and plugging it back in to keep it charged. Oh, but wait, as soon as I type all that, my USB mouse decides to work again! Oh technology, you little bitch, you.

BUT I DIGRESS. Back in the game, the next room holds 3 more of each Wizard, who kill me despite my awesomeness. BACK TO THE START AGAIN. DIE IN THE SAME ROOM. Okay, just read the last few paragraphs another 3 times or so, because that's about when I got to this point.

FUCK THE THREE HEART MECHANIC! WHY START WITH THREE? IT'S ABSURD! I swear I'm finding a Potion shop around here. TO THE WARP ZONE! That's right, I'M LEAVING! FOR FAIRIES! AND RED WATER! YEAH! SUCK IT!

... sorry. So after a trip through the staircase that miraculously leads to the nearest Fairy Fountain, and another to an underground Potion shop, and back again. So FULL HEALTH, 2 FULL HEALTH POTIONS. THIS MEANS 3x12 HEARTS EQUALS 36 HEARTS! YEAH! Not quite, as I have to use the potions BEFORE I lose all the health... SHUT UP SEAN, YOU'RE RAMBLING!

Okay, so read that paragraph about running through the linear corridor thing again, only THIS time, imagine me as a heroic, unstoppable, amazingly sexy hero killing everything without breaking a swear. It was more like a confident, moderately skillful display but it's better for you to think that I'm awesome. BECAUSE I AM. SOMETIMES. So yeah, I beat the room I usually die in (using up a potion) and move on.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GLEEOCK DOING HERE!?!??!? I KILLED YOU LIKE 2 DUNGEONS AGO! AND YOU GREW AN EXTRA HEAD! Luckily, I've grown stronger, too. I have a nifty new sword and extended health. So you, my friend, die quickly. HA! Next room (to the East now, we're off the linear path).

This room has some Like-Likes (I couldn't think of what to call them, so I looked up their real names) and Slimes, all of which die easily and the room gives me the Map! Dungeon Sixth, or Dungeon the Sixth, you are now known as... okay seriously, what the hell is this meant to be? It looks like a demonic arm flexing. One moment, Google needs to be consulted... oh wow. *snigger* It's meant to be a dragon... hehehe... OKAY THEN, Dungeon the Sixth, you are now known as Dragon Dungeon (awesome, really).

So, there's this locked door south of my location... UNLOCK. Some Wizards, who die but leave me with 1/2 a heart (*uses potion* *gets health* *celebrates*), and a new Key. Next room, AAARGH THE FUCKING BBB'S! KILL THEM WITH FIRE! Okay, that only slightly worked. KILL THEM WITH SWORDS! Okay, cool. NEXT ROOM.

It's filled with Wizards and Like-Likes! Kill them all! Done. This is a bit TOO easy, now... meh. Block! Push it, open stairs, travel. It takes me to another part of the Dungeon (through a little double-stairs room), to a room with Slimes and Like-Likes. Also, I can go down and meet some more BBBs! Lovely! And KILL, KILL, KILL... much better. In the next room, the north door is locked, and it's RIGHT next to the Triforce Room! It could be the boss room, or it might not be. I'll go South for now, and check later.

Okay, the south room is a dead end. It DOES have some wizards, though. Kill. And now the room gives me bombs... that's suspicious. Usually when a room does that, it means bombs are required... the Boss? No, you need to "aim" somehow, bombs don't need to be aimed. Secret room? Bomb the walls? I'll try it...  well, that didn't work. Let's try that locked door, shall we?

OH GOD IT'S THE BOSS! IT'S A GIANT SPIDER! I'M ARACHNOPHOBIC! SHOOT IT! SHOOOOOT IIIIIIIIIIIT!!! With every Arrow I impale into it's face, it closes it's eye just that little bit more until... DIE! HAHA! DIE, SPIDER! And give me your heart! Hooray! I won't get the Triforce shard just yet though, I still need to find that secret item.

Back in the main area of the dungeon, there's still a locked door I didn't open. Inside, more wizards, but other than that a dead end. But there IS a block, so that could be a secret switch or somethi-don't worry, I'm dead now. DAMN BLUE WIZARDS. Back to the start.

On one hand, I've all but defeated Dragon Dungeon. On the other, I still need to collect that secret item and go back for the Triforce. And after this, I still don't know where Dungeon Seven is. I've got some work to do next time, infiltrating the deepest reaches of the Dragon AND the farthest reaches of Hyrule. There are only 2 other dungeons in the game that I haven't found yet: 7 and 9. 9... the final dungeon. The cave in which Gannon is hiding, holding Zelda captive. I WILL SAVE YOU, ZELDA. I'm almost there, I AM...

Progress:

Hearts:   14

Rupies:   18

Bombs:    9

Keys:     1

Items:    MAGICAL SWORD, MAGIC SHIELD, MAGIC BOOMERANG, BOW+ARROW, BLUE CANDLE, BOMBS, RAFT, STEPLADDER, RED POTION, RED BRACELET, BLUE RING, WHISTLE

Dungeons: EAGLE(1), MOON(2), MANJI(3), SNAKE(4), LIZARD(5)

Deaths:   59