I looked back through my old posts to find if there were any Old Man secrets I'd yet to solve (minus the ones I know were badly translated and therefore mean nothing), and only came up with the one from last time ("SPECTACLE ROCK IS AN ENTRANCE TO DEATH") and the one from my first playsession: "EASTMOST PENINSULA IS THE SECRET". What could it mean? I've had that secret over my head since I first started this game.
I googled 'peninsula' in case a description would help. It says a peninsula is a piece of land with water on three of four sides. If we assume Hyrule is surrounded by water, then there are two locations that fit this description, both in the eastmost parts of the map. Huh, I guess I DID solve that one, as one of them's already been pillaged of a heart.
But the other one just has a staircase leading down, but nothing on the screen below it going up. I always assumed a staircase somewhere else lead there like a secret or something, but I've been all around the map and haven't found anything like that. INVESTIGATION TIME!
I warp nearby and check out the screen below it. I was going to try bombing the wall, so I walked up to where I thought the path went and moved up to get as close to the wall as possible... and just walked over the wall. I emerge on the top screen, the secret music playing. Really? That was the secret this whole time? An invisible staircase? Wow. Inside the room or whatever, there's a nice moblin who offers me money. Let's see how much it is... HOLY BALLS 100 RUPEES! THANK YOU, MOBLIN! THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Okay. Now it's time to find Death Mountain. According to the Old Man, "SPECTACLE ROCK IS AN ENTRANCE TO DEATH", so that's where I should go. 'Spectacle' means glasses, so somewhere there must be two symetrical rocks. Ooh, there they are! In the north! So I prepare. I warp home and buy my potions and heal at a nearby fountain. Then, whistle to dungeon 6 and walk off to Spectacle Rock. I get there and if it's not the most guarded overworld location I've seen. I kill the sword-dragons and the sand things to have some peace while I work. I bomb the center of the right rock and reveal the entrance. Here we go, guys! Death Mountain! Level 9! THE FINAL DUNGEON AWAITS!
The music is different than other dungeons, more dangerous. Ahead, there's a room that looks like an old man room but no old man. The "well done" music plays and two previously closed doors open. I know this one, readers. This was the room with the Old Man telling me a phrase that was very important to this blog. Important, for it was the inspiration for this blog's title. "ONES WHO DOES NOT HAVE TRIFORCE CAN'T GO IN". Well I have Triforce, sir. I have Triforce.
I go left and encounter a room full of wizards and bubbles. The bubbles stop me using my sword so I end up losing half of my health to the wizards before I manage to kill them all. Further through, there are more wizards and like-likes who kill me before I can use a potion.
I try again, this time using my potion in time and killing them all. There is no reward, no secret entrance or unlocking doors. What a total waste of time and a potion. I go through several more rooms, encountering more wizards and bubbles, dying again and using my last potion (already!?). In the empty fire room, I go a different direction and find some slimes that give me a key when I kill them. Aw, a key? That's adorable. I leave the pointless room and go back.
I've made a circle of rooms, none of which have doors leading anywhere else. There must be some secret rooms to find. I bomb a few walls and find one below a non-wizard room, with two snakes made of fire and a staircase. The snakes die by cold steel and I descend through the staircase. On the other end, there's a room with about four like-likes, who aren't much of a threat. Past that room, another full of wizards. NOPE. FUCK THAT SHIT. I'm just gonna slip right past these fuckers and deal with them another day.
In the next room: a fucking BUG MONSTER with lots of small bugs flying around him. I read about this guy: Patra. I have to kill all the little bugs before I can get to him. The wand doesn't seem to work on them, and they keep moving too fast for me to attack them. Like the room before this one, I say fuck it and skip it. Above Patra's room, there's an old man telling me to "GO TO THE NEXT ROOM". Okay, old man. I will. There're no doors, so there's obviously a bombable wall. Let's try the left one... there we go! I walk in and pretty much die in two seconds. More fucking wizards.
I go a different way and find a room with some BBBs, which are actually a really welcome sight. They're not as annoying as the wizards, so I don't mind them so much anymore. It's weird to think they once caused me enough frustration to make me swear my face off. Ah, memories...
Past them, there's a room full of bats. According to my map, this room is right above one of the first rooms in the dungeon, before the staircase from before. I try bombing the lower wall to connect the two sections, but to no avail. The left works, though. It's a room full of tiny slimes. I'm loving these easy rooms, I can tell you that! Past the slime room, there's a room with a platform on the bottom (where I am) seperate from the rest of the room. I can't get to any of the rest of the floor, I'd have to go around somehow. Pity.
I head back to Patra's room and go down. There're some more tiny slimes, who give me 5 rupees for killing them all. Further, more bats and some regular slimes. Again, I try bombing the lower wall to connect the two parts of the dungeon, but nothing happens. I head backwards and to the left, where there are three sections of the room, divided by blocks. In one, the one I'm in, there are two like-likes. In the next, two slimes, and in the third two useless bubbles. I kill the like-likes with the sword and use the wand to get the slimes in the next section. The room rewards me with bombs, but places them in the second section, where I can't get to them (and the boomerange doesn't pick them up). There must be a secret door below, and I have to come in from there to get the bombs.
I think I'll leave it here for today, I'm getting quite hungry and this whole blogging thing is taking up too much time. Nobody even reads this shit anyway, I don't know why I'm still writing it. I guess it's something to keep me going, to make sure I don't give up on something. I'll try not to give up.
And so, I leave my game with only 1.5 hearts left, no potions or bombs. Brilliant.
Items: MAGICAL SWORD, MAGIC SHIELD, MAGIC BOOMERANG, BOW+ARROW, BLUE CANDLE, RAFT, STEPLADDER, RED BRACELET, BLUE RING, WHISTLE, WAND
Dungeons: EAGLE(1), MOON(2), MANJI(3), SNAKE(4), LIZARD(5), DRAGON(6), DEMON(7)