Dungeon 5 and the Blue Ring

Went out with friends yesterday, we tried to cool off at the local indoor pool. IT WAS FORTY FUCKING DEGREES yesterday! I think mankind has pissed of Satan and now he's punishing Australia for it. From what I hear from holidaying friends is that it's SNOWING in Germany and England! Lucky bastards.

So let's see, what are we doing today... Ah, yes. The Magical Sword that the Old Man is being stingy with. I looked it up (my curiosity bitch-slapped my common sense in the face) and I need to have 12 hearts before he forks it over. Well, shit. I need to beat 3 dungons or find 3 hearts (or some combination of the two) before I can get uber-sword. This means I need to know where to get the last 3 hearts. I know that there are 5 Hearts hidden across hyrule (not including the ones Bosses give), and I've found 2 of them. So those last 3 are going to be hard...

Okay, so they'll probably be in hidden rooms in walls or under bushes, I just don't know where. This is fricken' daunting, guys. The whole world of Hyrule and only 3 TILES in the whole thing are my targets. That's 3/22510 (22528 tiles minus the 9 dungeon entrances, minus the starting sword cave entrance minus the 2 hearts I've found and minus the 4 Warp entrances) tiles! And yes, I was THAT bored to figure it out!

So, hidden tiles. Anybody have any hints on how to find them? Y'know, I've asked for help several times before, but nobody ever gives any. I don't know why I keep asking. Whatever, I don't think I could find them anyway. But enough of that, I know where Dungeon 5 is and I'm going! There's a Warp Zone near the Starting Screen, a Fairy Fountain near Warp Zone 3 and the Dungeon is near Warp Zone 2. ONWARDS!

I did, however, have the urge to burn some bushes in the screen East of Starting, so I did a few. I remember looking up something about particular tree pattern and hidden rooms, so I followed a rule I remember - that if there are two bushes in the middle of a vertically symetrical column of trees, burn the lower one (I am of course paraphrasing, but that's what I remember). Sure enough, a hidden room is revealed! Inside... an old woman selling potions. Well that's okay, I guess. It's closer to the Start than any other potion store.

Back to the Warp situation. I get to the Warp and travel straight to Dungeon 5, entering after several screens of trekking. I suddenly realize I forgot to heal, so back I go to Warp to the Fairy Fountain and back again... but I'm trapped in the Mountain Singularity (I like that name, that's what it is now). I have to go West and (unfortunatly) die to get back without complications. Sad little animation and...

Back at the start, I go to the Warp AGAIN and this time, go to the Fairy Fountain. I also tested my Bush theory on some of the rocks in the Singularity, but no rooms (and now I've only got 3 bombs). And so, I enter Dungeon 5 and march forth to find the Compass, Map and Secret Item!

East and instantly filled with weird rabbits. They hit me for 2 HEARTS OF DAMAGE! I couldn't get out fast enough. I tried to kill them again but died pretty much instantly. Fuck. I'm done with this already, I need that Blue Ring. I need to protect myself from such hideous amounts of damage. I NEED 250 RUPEES! I'll just troll the Overworld for a while. I'm sure as hell not staying in this place.

I decided to search the Mountains first (as I was already there), focussing on Blue enemies (as they seem to dish out more money). I was, however, killed by a Tektite pretty fast. Anyway, maybe I'll search the Graveyard instead. I think those evil ghosts would give some money. I took the Warp to the Fairy Fountain and back to the Mountan Warp (the one near the Graveyard) to see if the Ghosts give any cash.

When I was there, however, I went North instead of West and discovered a really creepy-looking dungeon entrance with 2 tiles worth of doors (at least I THINK it was a Dungeon Entrance). Now I HAVE to look inside, see what it is. I killed the dragon protecting it first, though.

Well, whaddaya know? I found Dungeon 6! I'll mark that on a map and come back to it later, when I don't die when confronted with a rabbit.

So back to the Graveyard. I found a Ghost and hit a few graves to make more. Only problem is this: the spawned monsters don't die. I bombed them and nothing happened to them (although the ghost that was already there was damaged). I ran around and hit the ghost that was already there, and ALL OF THEM died! I only got 2 Rupies out of it, but this is excellent! I just need to spawn TONS of ghosts, kill the ringleader and EVERYBODY DIES! Giving me money!

This works in theory AND in practice, if only for one or two issues. 1, spawned monsters still damage like crazy. 2, it's easy to lose the ringleader in the crowd. This just happened and I nearly died, but I found the bitch and sliced it's balls off (and the balls of every other ghost on the screen).

After about 6 screens of this, I had gained roughly 32 Rupies and had 2 hearts left. I like it! South of the Graveyard was a big collection of Dragons which gave me lots and lots of money and now I can buy the Blue Ring and all of Hyrule I can even buy the Castle an- nah, I'm kidding, they killed me like *snaps fingers* that.

I went back, though. I repeated the pattern. Warp to Fairy Fountain. Warp to Graveyard. Spawn mass Ghosts. Kill ringleader. Repeat until all 6 screens done. Die. I just kept repeating that pattern for a while, however sometimes I died early. I did notice that one grave didn't create a ghost (like the one that leads to the Magic Sword that I can't get) but I died before I could check it out. Next time I tried, I investigated it BEFORE spawning ghosts. Pushing it from any side didn't do anything, so I tried bombing it. Nothing. Well, I'll solve it later.

I continued the pattern until I had 254 RUPIES! I COULD BUY THE RING! HALF DAMAGE FOR MEEEEEE!!! I ran from the Graveyard and made for Lake Hylia, dodging EVERYTHING I COULD... But I still died 2 SCREENS AWAY! Next attempt, and the Statues guarding the shop nearly killed me. With only one heart left, I enter the shop. Within it I find... THE BLUE RING! Yes, I SHALL buy that, sir!

HoorAAAAAAY! BLUE RING! And now I've got blue clothes! And my location on the map is blue, too! This is awesome! Next time I play, Dungeon 5's getting BITCH-SLAPPED!

Progress:

Hearts:   9

Rupies:   5

Bombs:    2

Keys:     1

Items:    WHITE SWORD, MAGIC SHIELD, MAGIC BOOMERANG, BOW, ARROW, BLUE CANDLE, BOMBS(6), RAFT, STEPLADDER, RED POTION, RED BRACELET, BLUE RING

Dungeons: EAGLE(1), MOON(2), MANJI(3), SNAKE(4)

Deaths:   47

Raft

Sorry about not playing yesterday, some serious stuff was going on. I guess this is my first post that details some of my actual life outside Zelda.

These days, I haven't been showering, haven't been getting dressed out of my pajamas and haven't been leaving the house in days. I haven't got a job, I don't have a girlfriend, and I don't know whether I got into university yet. These days, I'm the laziest fucker alive. And my mouth tastes weird, apparently I forget to brush my teeth more often, too. I'll be right back...

Okay, now my mouth tastes less like the cereal I ate a few hours ago. You know, when I finally get into uni, I want to move out of my parent's house. I want to have that experience of living with other people my own age while I'm in university, and to actually have a job that doesn't make me want to kill myself. Maybe then I can live a 'normal' life, because the way I've been living now is FAR from normal from a teenager's point of view. I'm 17, never drank, never done drugs (and don't plan to do either things), and never had a girlfriend. PLEASE EXCUSE ME TO WALLOW IN SELF PITY FOR A MOMENT...

Now back to the game. There's a cave north of Manji Dungeon and a strange-looking wall north of that, and I want to check them out. Onwards, north-west from the Start! I made it there, after an abysmal reward rate of the enemies killed, and the cave is another shop with a shield and arrow to sell, which I already have. It also sold some bombs, though, so that's mediocre at best. North of the shop is a screen with six stone statues (which will of course come to life when I touch them) and some blue sand-beasts. The sand beasts die and one of the statues REVEALS A STAIRCASE! It also kills me.

NEXT ATTEMPT! Yes, I'm obsessing over ANOTHER staircase, bu-SHUT UP! I make my way back and find that blue sand beasts can deplete health pretty quickly. I also found that you CAN outrun a stone statue long enough to jump down a hole he was standing over. Another shop, and it's actually alright. There's a key for 80 Rupies, some meat for 60 and a Blue Ring for 250! The ring halves damage, so obviously ME WANTY! I know EXACTLY where to spend my riches now! At least, once I GET riches.

Back to the supposed Dungeon 4, across the lake with my new raft! And here I am, Dungeon 4 with only 1 heart left. Well, I'm going to DEAL WITH IT and KERRY OHN (meant to sound extremely british)! West is another Bat Room with a hidden Key, North is the rest of the dungeon which kills me with a blue jumping rabbit. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Entering again, the bouncing blue bastards die pretty easily, and they erupt into red bats with are also killed easily with a boomerang to the face. East and it's suddenly pitch-black. A use for my candle! Fantastic! There's a little maze filled with more BBB's and the Compass. Slay! Slay! Get hit by a bat! Slay! Obtain Compass! GTFO! Done. Backtrack. Next room, a Bat room with another Key and now only 1/2 heart left.

The next room is dark as well, and the candle reveals more blocks and more BBB's. Easily dying, I run back to the same room and try to avoid them at all costs (I manage it) and move to the next dark room. There are some Splitting Slimes here, but I'm too strong for them and they die without hassle. Another key is given and I move on. OH FUCK ELECTRIC BALLS! Rather than fighting, I'm skipping this shit. The next room, however, has too many BBB's. I kill them (amazingly without losing health) and progress (leaving the locked door for later). MORE ELECTRIC BALLS! Luckily, a nearby enemy gives me a Clock and they all freeze. Nothing seems to give me anything in this room. THERE MUST BE A SECRET PASSAGE! A moving block confirms this and OMG STAIRCASE!

Inside is a Stepladder, which I'm sure is useful somehow. The locked door from earlier reveals a dead end, and I get killed by a damn slime. A basic slime! Back to the start. I NEED A MAP. I have no idea where anything was just then! Back at the ELECRIC BALL room that I skipped, I realize the Stepladder's potential. SINGLE-TILED CHASMS CAN DIE IN THEMSELVES because I can step OVER them! This unlocks (figuratively) a new room, which leads to the room I just died in, but in a NEW POSITION so I can gain THE MAP! This dungeon is hereby named Snake Dungeon!

Now that I've collected a Main Item in this place, I can confidently find the Boss without fear of missing parts of the dungeon. Backtracking and going fo-WHAT THE FUCK I KILLED YOU LAST TIME I PLAYED! Manhandla's back, and still after my blood. I die pretty much instantly and have to try again. I die in the second-last room before it and have to try AGAIN.

But apparently, I have to stop because dear mum wants me to start my satanic chores (like cleaning the bathroom - isn't that just despicable?). I'll try again on Thursday (I've got another party Wednesday, aren't I a social little butterfly?).

Progress:

Health:   3/6

Rupies:   86

Bombs:    3

Keys:     1

Items:    WHITE SWORD, MAGIC SHIELD, MAGIC BOOMERANG, BOW, ARROW, BLUE CANDLE, BOMBS(6), RAFT, STEPLADDER

Dungeons: EAGLE(1), MOON(2), MANJI(3)

Deaths:   26