Raft

Sorry about not playing yesterday, some serious stuff was going on. I guess this is my first post that details some of my actual life outside Zelda.

These days, I haven't been showering, haven't been getting dressed out of my pajamas and haven't been leaving the house in days. I haven't got a job, I don't have a girlfriend, and I don't know whether I got into university yet. These days, I'm the laziest fucker alive. And my mouth tastes weird, apparently I forget to brush my teeth more often, too. I'll be right back...

Okay, now my mouth tastes less like the cereal I ate a few hours ago. You know, when I finally get into uni, I want to move out of my parent's house. I want to have that experience of living with other people my own age while I'm in university, and to actually have a job that doesn't make me want to kill myself. Maybe then I can live a 'normal' life, because the way I've been living now is FAR from normal from a teenager's point of view. I'm 17, never drank, never done drugs (and don't plan to do either things), and never had a girlfriend. PLEASE EXCUSE ME TO WALLOW IN SELF PITY FOR A MOMENT...

Now back to the game. There's a cave north of Manji Dungeon and a strange-looking wall north of that, and I want to check them out. Onwards, north-west from the Start! I made it there, after an abysmal reward rate of the enemies killed, and the cave is another shop with a shield and arrow to sell, which I already have. It also sold some bombs, though, so that's mediocre at best. North of the shop is a screen with six stone statues (which will of course come to life when I touch them) and some blue sand-beasts. The sand beasts die and one of the statues REVEALS A STAIRCASE! It also kills me.

NEXT ATTEMPT! Yes, I'm obsessing over ANOTHER staircase, bu-SHUT UP! I make my way back and find that blue sand beasts can deplete health pretty quickly. I also found that you CAN outrun a stone statue long enough to jump down a hole he was standing over. Another shop, and it's actually alright. There's a key for 80 Rupies, some meat for 60 and a Blue Ring for 250! The ring halves damage, so obviously ME WANTY! I know EXACTLY where to spend my riches now! At least, once I GET riches.

Back to the supposed Dungeon 4, across the lake with my new raft! And here I am, Dungeon 4 with only 1 heart left. Well, I'm going to DEAL WITH IT and KERRY OHN (meant to sound extremely british)! West is another Bat Room with a hidden Key, North is the rest of the dungeon which kills me with a blue jumping rabbit. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Entering again, the bouncing blue bastards die pretty easily, and they erupt into red bats with are also killed easily with a boomerang to the face. East and it's suddenly pitch-black. A use for my candle! Fantastic! There's a little maze filled with more BBB's and the Compass. Slay! Slay! Get hit by a bat! Slay! Obtain Compass! GTFO! Done. Backtrack. Next room, a Bat room with another Key and now only 1/2 heart left.

The next room is dark as well, and the candle reveals more blocks and more BBB's. Easily dying, I run back to the same room and try to avoid them at all costs (I manage it) and move to the next dark room. There are some Splitting Slimes here, but I'm too strong for them and they die without hassle. Another key is given and I move on. OH FUCK ELECTRIC BALLS! Rather than fighting, I'm skipping this shit. The next room, however, has too many BBB's. I kill them (amazingly without losing health) and progress (leaving the locked door for later). MORE ELECTRIC BALLS! Luckily, a nearby enemy gives me a Clock and they all freeze. Nothing seems to give me anything in this room. THERE MUST BE A SECRET PASSAGE! A moving block confirms this and OMG STAIRCASE!

Inside is a Stepladder, which I'm sure is useful somehow. The locked door from earlier reveals a dead end, and I get killed by a damn slime. A basic slime! Back to the start. I NEED A MAP. I have no idea where anything was just then! Back at the ELECRIC BALL room that I skipped, I realize the Stepladder's potential. SINGLE-TILED CHASMS CAN DIE IN THEMSELVES because I can step OVER them! This unlocks (figuratively) a new room, which leads to the room I just died in, but in a NEW POSITION so I can gain THE MAP! This dungeon is hereby named Snake Dungeon!

Now that I've collected a Main Item in this place, I can confidently find the Boss without fear of missing parts of the dungeon. Backtracking and going fo-WHAT THE FUCK I KILLED YOU LAST TIME I PLAYED! Manhandla's back, and still after my blood. I die pretty much instantly and have to try again. I die in the second-last room before it and have to try AGAIN.

But apparently, I have to stop because dear mum wants me to start my satanic chores (like cleaning the bathroom - isn't that just despicable?). I'll try again on Thursday (I've got another party Wednesday, aren't I a social little butterfly?).

Progress:

Health:   3/6

Rupies:   86

Bombs:    3

Keys:     1

Items:    WHITE SWORD, MAGIC SHIELD, MAGIC BOOMERANG, BOW, ARROW, BLUE CANDLE, BOMBS(6), RAFT, STEPLADDER

Dungeons: EAGLE(1), MOON(2), MANJI(3)

Deaths:   26

Staircase Room Attack!

So starting again, STILL heading for Manji Dungeon, I was lucky enough to kill a Moblin with a FAIRY, so now I'm at full health and owner of 6 Bombs. STAIRCASE ROOM! (For those who don't know what I'm on about, theres a room in the lower-left spike of the 3rd dungeon with a staircase in it that I want to go down, but it's guarded by a thousand Knights)

Now I have the Sword Beam, I can kill those first 3 Knights easily. The next room (last before Staircase room) has abo-FUCKING BATS!!! Now I've got 3.5 health! DAMMITALL! Now I have to look in the deeper rooms for hea-FUCKING BALLS OF ELECRICITY! ONLY 1 FUCKING HEART LEFT!

In later rooms, there were more Splitting Slimes, but none gave me hearts (just money, but THAT'S NOT WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW). I'm thinking of leaving the dungeon to come back in and see if it resets the enemies... hey! A room of Splitting Slimes is already reset! OH MY GOD ONE GAVE ME A FAIRY! I'm full health again! Time to fight the last few rooms before Staircase!

Second-last room again, and... ONE GAVE ME A MAGIC CLOCK. EVERYONE FREEZES. EVERYONE GETS KILLED EASILY. I'm a VERY happy camper right now! Staircase room, at last! But there's about 15 Knights. I have bombs, but should I use them to kill or just run? I've come so far, I can't just waste it...

I'm going for the Bombs! I'm laying them everywhere, they seem to clump together a few times... two die, a heart and 4 more bombs! More die, more hearts! Only two left, only two bombs! One kills one and wounds the other, this is it! THIS IS IT! THE BASTARD DIES BY MY FINAL BOMB! And gives me 4 more bombs at that! AND THE STAIRCASE! THE MAGNIFICENT STAIRCASE! I descend into the abyss and find... a Raft! I can move on water kind of! YAY! Now for the boss.

One room before the Boss are three knights. I save my Bombs for I know they're needed. They die and open my way to the 3rd last room of the dungeon. Inside are more balls of electricity, bats and slimes. They die easily without costing me life (except the balls) and show me the boss...

A flower? I'm killing a flower? That's ju-OH GOD IT'S THROWING FIRE AT ME! Well, I could cut off it's leaves, but I don't like getting close. Dammit, the dungeon's been throwing Bombs in my face all of three days, that's what I'm using to kill it! A bomb as close as I dare to it's small body and it cuts off 3 of it's stems, I try again but FUCK I BURN AND DIE.

Next attempt, however I only have 1 Bomb left. Some Slimes give me full health again and I arrive again at the 3 Knights (who reduce me to 2 Hearts), the electricity and finally the Boss (whom I now know is named Manhandla, lol). My last bomb is placed as close as I dare and... and... AND...

Only 2 petals were killed! OH THE PAIN! With only 1 heart left, I charge, dodging not one, NOT TWO, but FIVE FIREBALLS to attack a SINGLE PETAL ONCE before dying again. So I leave this wretched hell-hole to buy the Arrow and stock up on Bombs. I save and restart in the Overworld. TO THE EAST!

With over 150 Rupies, I can buy the Arrow and 2 sets of Bombs (exiting/entering each purchase). With full health (thanks to some hearts from Octoroks), I decide to get to Manji Dungeon from where I am, instead of wasting my full health on saving and restarting. By retracing my route back, I effectively have no interruptions (as they were already SLAIN), and get back to the start quite easily. Getting back to Maji had a few near misses but I made it with still-full health.

Inside, my Sword Beam makes quick work of the Knights and the Slimes in the room before Manhandla, and the showdown begins. Manhandla rolls around, spewing fireballs. I run, avoiding as many as I can, to shove a bomb somewhere dark. Almost directly on it's center, my first one lands, destroying 3 petals instantly. Manhandla rolls faster, shooting more. I get hit several times, only 2 hearts remain, my bomb placement becoming more sloppy. Abandoning that tactic, I swipe my White Sword, hitting it's petal once, twice... DEATH!

Manhandla dies, vanishing from existence, giving me another Heart and entrance to the next Triforce Shard! Nabbing my new heart, I run into the room, picking up my shard and, finally, watch Manji Dungeon collapse around my character's triumphant bragging sprite (also, I've noticed I now have 2 spare keys!)

Where to next? Dungeon 3 has been defeated, and I have a nice new Raft to take me across the water. According to my map, there's a dungeon across Lake Hylia not far from the Starting Screen. There are also, however, a few caves and some screens with no caves but bushes. I'm going secret-hunting next time, and then finding out if Dungeon 4 is the one on the lake. BYE!

Progress:

Health:   3/6

Rupies:   61

Bombs:    5

Keys:     2

Items:    WHITE SWORD, MAGIC SHIELD, MAGIC BOOMERANG, BOW, ARROW, BLUE CANDLE, BOMBS(6), RAFT

Dungeons: EAGLE(1), MOON(2), MANJI(3)

Deaths:   20