Oh, and my parents' fighting is quelling slightly, even if the occasional fight is about something seemingly insignificant, for those who care. If you do, many thanks. If you don't, it's okay. It just means you're heartless and nobody will ever love you.
So, in accordance with my last post, I'm abandoning Snake Dungeon for a while to scour the land. I'm looking in as many caves as possible and burning bushes on every screen. I explored East, hugging the side of the Ocean and eventually found a cave on what I'm calling a beach. Inside was a shield, bomb and arrow for sale, so no help. Meh, I marked it on the map anyway.
Further North on the beach was a HEART CONTAINER OMG! It was on a platform on the ocean! AND I HAVE A STEPLADDER! Die, MONSTERS! I'm getting MORE HEALTH! HELLS YEAH! Further along, there was a raft taking me to a dungeon! I wanted to check which one it was so I could visit it later, but it turned out it was just an old man. OFFERING ME ANOTHER HEART! Another choice was a Potion, but I've got a feeling I won't get this offering again. SO A HEART IT IS! THAT'S ANOTHER 2 HEARTS I HAVE! (to be honest, I checked back inside the room and sure enough, the old man's gone)
There are still a few more caves (and a dungeon, I'll check that one too) around the north-west of Hyrule, so let's PUSH ON!
One was another shop, stocking a shield, key and Blue Candle (so useless), another was an old man who apparently distrusts the postal service (he gave me a letter to an Old Woman, lucky I know where one is (remember an older post?)), and the Dungeon was... actually a Money Making Game (I lost 10 Rupies, then gained 20). Also, does anyone remember the Trap screen I complained about? I tried again, taking the advice of the old man I met a while back and just kept going up. After about 5 times, it worked! I found another Dungeon (turning out to be Number 5)! Marked for later.
So, the nearby forest is about to be examined. There are some suspicious-looking bushes that need to be either burned or bombed. As soon as I enter the forest, there's some Moblins and statues. The Moblins die and one of the statues reveals a staircase! Inside, a Moblin utters another famous phrase:
"IT'S A SECRET TO EVERYBODY." Then he gives me 30 Rupies! YAY MOBLIN! A bit deeper into the forest shows 2 lonely statues in a clearing, so there HAS to be something. And sure enough, one reveals another staircase! WITH ANOTHER MOBLIN! 10 Rupies, thank you!
On my map I can see another cave just south of the clearing, and (after fighting more Moblins) it is revealed to be... ANOTHER BLOODY SHOP WITH ANOTHER BLOODY SHIELD, KEY AND CANDLE. URGH I'm sick of them useless shops. I HAVE A SPARE KEY ANYWAY. There's one last bush I think should be burnt, a singular one blocking a single-tile 'corridoor' at it's mouth. I MUST INVESTIGATE. Sure enough, it burns down and reveals... 0.0 DUNGEON EIGHT. WHAT THE HELL. I MEAN AWESOME. BUT STILL. LOL! I found the eighth dungeon, supposedly one of the best-hidden dungeons in the game, looking for friendly Moblins. It's like that awkward moment in parody clips when a money collector stumbles upon a huge conspiracy that's totally irrelevant to the story (which he then ignores completely moments later).
"WELCOME TO THE EIGTH DUNGEON, MORTAL! YOU SHALL FACE UNIMAGI-"
"Hi, are you friendly?"
"... WHAT?"
"Can I have some money?"
"... HOW DID YOU FIND THIS PLACE?"
"Oh, I'm looking for Moblins willing to donate to the Help Link Not Die Foundation!"
"... AND YOU LOOKED UNDER THAT PARTICULAR BUSH WHY?"
"It looked pretty conspicuous, blocking that tiny path like that."
"OH. WELL, THEN... YOU HERE TO FACE THE BOSS?"
"Nah, I'm good. Can I have some money?"
And after that long haul, I died. By an octopus. On land. Well, fuck. Meh, 2 Hearts, a Hidden Dungeon, a total of 50 Rupies and a bunch of 'secret' caves revealed to be shitty shops. And some old man gave me a letter. NOT BAD WITH ONE LIFE, BI-ATCH! I wish Gleeock was this easy to kill...
Please excuse me, I have to take a shower.
...
Okay, I'm back. Now I have two choices: One, go back to Snake Dungeon and try again, or, OR, explore the West in a similar fashion as the last 6 or so paragraphs. Hmm... I found some nifty things last time I explored, and I'm not in the mood for Gleeock again (my sword is puny). MAYBE I'll find something COOL, like another sword, or more money, OR MORE HEARTS! I'm convinced! EXPLORATION TIME!
On my way West, I came across the cave with the Old Woman inside. Remembering my Super Special Letter, I hand it over... NOW SHE SELLS POTIONS! HELLZ YEAH! I knew there was some way to get them! Okay, I can either buy 1 for 40 or 2 for 68... that's a decent deal, 12 Rupies off, so I get the Red one. NOW I CAN GET HEALTH! Although I know there's a Fairy Fountain somewhere here, so I won't have to use the Potion until I face Gleeock again.
I travel west many screens, ending up in what appears to be a Corner of the World (that's what I'm calling them now) with another cave. Inside is another Advice Lady, offering advice. I pay her 10 Rupies and the bitch tells me it isn't enough. BUT TAKES IT ANYWAY! Where's the Bitch-Slap button? Screw her, there's a graveyard to the North. Investigating, however, I find myself in a trap. Oh dear. I can only go east, leaving the trap. Looking at my map, I could go AROUND the whole way, it would take a while but I'd get there. There's also another Dungeon there, which I'd like to check out (maybe it's 6 or 7, the only 2 dungeons I need to uncover (I don't count 9 as a Dungeon, more of an Epic)).
Alas, this is a story for another day. On the path, I see many Statues. I also see that the only way I can get there is by crossing the River that flows from the Waterfall to Lake Hylia, and even an unexplored Cave. Someone told me online that the huge number of Statues is important, but the more interesting thing is that I was complaining about the lack of Warp rooms I've found. THIS MEANS THE SECRET IS THERE! I can find the secret, I know I can!
And that's all for today. Lay-taz!
Progress:
Hearts: 8
Rupies: 59
Bombs: 7
Keys: 1
Items: WHITE SWORD, MAGIC SHIELD, MAGIC BOOMERANG, BOW, ARROW, BLUE CANDLE, BOMBS(6), RAFT, STEPLADDER, RED POTION
Dungeons: EAGLE(1), MOON(2), MANJI(3)
Deaths: 36
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